Archive of ‘Grief’ category

Christmas 2015, Survived

Well, Christmas 2015 has been survived. On Christmas Eve Martin and I took Hugo’s presents to his garden. Finding presents that are suitable to withstand the elements outside can often be a challenge, so I was pleased to find these two little robots. They look very cute and cheerful. The penguin (a gift from my […] Read more…

The Second Christmas After Hugo

The second Christmas after Hugo. It’s fast approaching. It’s a funny old time. In many respects, the days are just like other days but Christmas always carries such a special poignancy doesn’t it? With that poignancy comes a heavy helping of expectation, immersed in families who seem to be so bloody happy. We’re not looking […] Read more…

How Do I Cope With Life After Hugo?

How do I cope with life after Hugo? It is a question I am often asked, and a question to which there is not a simple or easy answer. Please do not think me dismissive or rude if I cannot provide an answer either quickly, or at all. Please do not think me evasive if […] Read more…

Not All Tears Are An Evil

Chin up! What’s the worst that can happen? Worse things happen at sea! We like to keep a stiff upper lip, don’t we? Let’s not talk about things that might cause a stir, rouse emotion, give cause for a tear to be shed. Not showing emotions, not crying is a sign of strength, they say. […] Read more…

Baby Loss Awareness Day: The Last Lullaby

Today is Baby Loss Awareness Day. It’s a strange feeling – it is a day like any other, yet a day so full of poignancy. I talk openly and candidly about baby loss and about my Hugo every day of the year, of course. We broken-hearted mummies and daddies miss our babies – whether they […] Read more…

Standing on the Periphery

I am standing on the periphery. The periphery of the life that should have been mine. The life that should have belonged to Hugo. I am standing on the lip of a chasm. The chasm that my life fell in to. Two years ago this week I discovered I was pregnant. Oh, the joy and […] Read more…

Thoughts About Acceptance

Acceptance is something I have thought about a great deal since Hugo died. It’s a concept I have only recently stopped raging against. Acceptance is often identified as the ‘final stage’ of grief in the well-intentioned Kubler Ross model. I thought ‘acceptance’ meant acknowledging that what happened to me, to Hugo, to my family was ok. […] Read more…

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