Archive of ‘Birth trauma’ category

Before and After

I remember… Before. When all we had was hope. When we had everything to look forward to. I remember Martin cooking me my favourite meals and not minding when I could manage only a token mouthful, thanks to my all-day-and-all-night nausea. I remember spending hours reading about pregnancy. I remember feeling so excited about what every […] Read more…

Karma and Luck

Karma is something I used to believe in. “What goes around, comes around,” right? Karma is supposed to mean that bad things happen to people because they have done bad things. Getting their just desserts, if you like. This concept is something I have struggled with since Hugo was born, and even more since he […] Read more…

A Year Ago Today

A year ago today I awoke from a fitful night’s sleep. For the past few days I had been suffering from what I thought was heartburn. It was worse at night, and I had been sleeping poorly since it started. Normal heartburn medicine had no effect. At 24 weeks’ pregnant, I thought heartburn was a normal part of […] Read more…

HELLP Syndrome: still processing the events, 10 months on

Woke up one night. “Heartburn,” I thought. 23 weeks’ pregnant, right on time. It was uncomfortable, I felt constantly full. Normal heartburn medicine did nothing. I was putting on a lot of weight. Normal for pregnancy, I thought. I was becoming breathless. Related to the weight gain, I thought. I was very emotional. Normal pregnancy […] Read more…

Space

Space, in many senses of that word, has been a key theme during the last few days – and I need more of it. Earlier this week I was literally seeing stars. I’ve been unhappy with my blog’s banner for a while – it didn’t feel ‘me,’ and the various parts of it looked disconnected. […] Read more…

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