(How Do You) Treat Yourself

How do you treat yourself?

‘Treat’ can mean how you behave (either towards yourself or towards others); to give medical treatment; or it can mean something that is special.

It’s the first and last definitions I’m considering here.

How do you treat yourself?

Not an easy question to answer, is it?

We know (probably) how we should treat ourselves: with respect, understanding, self-compassion. If you’re anything like me, these qualities don’t necessarily come naturally, even though it feels like they should (and they should!).

We have to work on these qualities.

Not to be sexist, but I think many women find treating ourselves with respect, understanding and self-compassion especially challenging. We’re so often taught to put the needs of others first (not that we shouldn’t, but not to the detriment of our own needs); we compare ourselves unfavourably to others, feeling that we will never measure up.

It can be difficult to remember that we are all special. That we are enough.

It can be difficult to remember that life itself is a treat.

I have been hard on myself for most of my life, and even more so since Hugo died. That feeling is juxtaposed with feeling fortunate to be alive. It’s a bit of a headf*ck!

So, even on my darkest days, I try to do something that makes me feel special. That could be putting some make-up on, or doing my hair. Making sure I feel good in whatever I am wearing.

Those things might seem superficial and vain, but they are crucial parts of my armour.

In recent months, there are other things I have been doing to make sure I am respectful of and understand my own needs, and that I am compassionate towards myself.

It is about making time for the things that I enjoy.

It is about changing what is in my power to change.

It is about recognising that there are certain things that I cannot change: about myself, my situation, other people, but there are many ways of building my reslience so I feel better able to cope with stuff that happens in life.

How do you treat yourself? What do you do to make sure every day feels special? That you feel respected, understood, are compassionate to yourself?

Make sure you have got some treats in your armoury. Big or small, those treats can make a difference.

If I can do it, you can too.

How Do You

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mumturnedmom

10 Comments on (How Do You) Treat Yourself

  1. Sara | mumturnedmom
    February 1, 2016 at 4:02 pm (4 years ago)

    You are so right Leigh. Both about how important it is, and how difficult. I have become better in recent years and Tracey’s comment about perfume is a good one. I always used to save things for ‘special’ but realised how silly this was. For one thing, people give gifts in the hope that we use them! And secondly, every day is special in its own way and using nice perfume or body lotion, or wearing your favourite jewellery etc, should be a daily thing. Even if all we do is stop for a couple of minutes and breathe, we really must take care of ourselves x Thank you so much for sharing with #ThePrompt x
    Sara | mumturnedmom recently posted…Me and Mine: January 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      February 1, 2016 at 7:47 pm (4 years ago)

      Absolutely, Sara – people buy us special gifts because they want to treat us – and for us in turn to treat ourselves! xx

      Reply
  2. tracey at Mummyshire
    February 1, 2016 at 11:18 am (4 years ago)

    This post really made me think, not just about me but about my daughter too, and how we as women do often put others first to the detriment to ourselves. Why, I wonder? And yes we do need to treat ourselves, but I wonder if we need to use the word ‘treat’ – this implied just doing something once is a while to reward something else. I think we need to treat ourselves well, always, but it isn’t always that easy. I remember being so tired with my two small children than when I went to a playgroup and someone gave me a hot cup of tea it was such a treat, I burst out crying!! Being treated, or looking after ourselves, is so important
    #ThePrompt
    xx

    Reply
    • Leigh
      February 1, 2016 at 7:47 pm (4 years ago)

      Oh bless you! I think when we are at the end of our tethers even the simplest gesture, like a cup of tea, can seem like the world’s best treat. It’s interesting about the different definitions of the word – we talk about how we treat ourselves and others, but looking after ourselves shouldn’t be a ‘treat’. Thanks for your comment xxx

      Reply
  3. Becky Cowley
    February 1, 2016 at 8:15 am (4 years ago)

    You are so right. We need to look after ourselves, treat ourselves a little even if it’s just time out with a warm brew. Then we’ll be able to face whatever life throws at us x
    Becky Cowley recently posted…TreatMy Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      February 1, 2016 at 7:45 pm (4 years ago)

      Absolutely right, Becky xxx

      Reply
  4. Tracy
    February 1, 2016 at 7:52 am (4 years ago)

    I think it’s important to treat yourself. Life can be tough with each of us fighting our own personal battles. I always put my make-up on because it’s part of my armour and I don’t save my expensive perfume for ‘special occasions’. I wear it when I want to cheer myself up. Seems to do the trick. 🙂

    Reply
    • Leigh
      February 1, 2016 at 7:44 pm (4 years ago)

      Yes! There’s that quote about saving stuff for special occasions – that never arrive. Better I think to consider every day as a special occasion. xx

      Reply
  5. Verily Victoria Vocalises
    January 30, 2016 at 11:18 pm (4 years ago)

    This is such a thought-provoking post Leigh. I have to say that since my big clear out the other weekend, I am feeling much better and my mind is clearer too. I still have a bit to do but I think you are right – you have to make sure you treat yourself properly. #ThePrompt
    Verily Victoria Vocalises recently posted…The Conception Diaries #3 – Tuesday 15th September 2015My Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      February 1, 2016 at 7:45 pm (4 years ago)

      I’m glad to hear that, Vic. It can be difficult to remember to treat ourselves properly, but so crucial to do! xxx

      Reply

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