Seeing a Glimpse of a Different World…Through the Eyes of a Toddler

Seeing the world through the eyes of a toddler is fascinating. The world is full of wonder, every day items are captivating.

I often see a friend’s little boy when we visit their home, they visit ours, or we go to the park.

Spending time with him gives me a glimpse in to a different world, one where Hugo lived and I am mother to an energetic toddler.

There is no denying that as much as I enjoy time with him, there is also inevitably a certain amount of emotional difficulty.

Our trips to each others’ houses, and to the park should involve keeping our eyes on two boys, not one.

But it is difficult to feel sad for long when with this toddler. For one, he doesn’t give you a chance to even think about it because he does not sit still for even one second. I cannot believe how quickly those little legs can transport him to whatever he shouldn’t be playing with!

In seriousness, though, it is difficult to be melancholy when in the company of a human being who thinks the world is full of infinite excitement and possibility and who isn’t afraid to show it.

Music means dancing, wherever you are. Whirlygigs, clothes pegs, books, taking selfies on the mobile, flicking through tabs on the iPad are not simple things, they are spellbinding.

But once you get bored with an item? Chuck it on the floor!

The stairs provide an adventure challenge. Not just the climbing up and getting down, but how many random objects you can hold on to while you are accomplishing those feats, too.

Seeing the cat is the best thing ever! (The cat however strongly disagrees).

With him, as with all young children there is no such thing as ‘can’t’. The world is theirs for the taking!

And oh, that smile… cheeky toothy grin to melt your heart.

It is a bittersweet glimpse in to what my life should be like.

Precious items up and out of the way of curious little hands. Toys and baby paraphernalia everywhere. Never being able to drink a cup of tea while it is warm. Nor having a meal to yourself. Going to the loo with an (impatient) audience.

I cannot help but think what Hugo would be like compared with the little boy. Would Hugo be like him: energetic, enthusiastic, headstrong, trying to talk, and very loving? Probably, judging from how he was during his life in his incubator.

When the little boy leaves, the debris is tidied away, our home feels too quiet. Too ordered. It needs a bundle of trouble running around, gabbling away.

Our home needs parents wishing they had eyes in the back of their heads, longer and more numerous arms. Wishing for more sleep!

Our home needs parents who wish for a bit of peace and quiet, instead of an absence of noise that is anything but tranquil, calm, or pleasant.

One day our family and our home will include a little brother or sister for Hugo. Our home will be full of the chaos children bring.

I am so looking forward to baby babble and giggles, needing eyes in the back of my head, and more and longer arms. Lack of sleep, not so much…but it is part of the deal, I guess.

I want those wishes to be granted. I want to be nurturing a living child, as well as nurturing the memory of a child no longer with us.

In the meantime, I live vicariously as a mother of a living child through my kind, loving, and understanding friends and glimpse a world that could have, should have been mine too.

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19 Comments on Seeing a Glimpse of a Different World…Through the Eyes of a Toddler

  1. Alice @ The Filling Glass
    September 30, 2015 at 1:24 pm (2 years ago)

    Leigh, I love how positive you always are. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to balance your happiness at seeing your friends child with your loss of Hugo. I am glad for you that you are able to look forward to a future with another child, not to replace but to add to your family. May all your wishes come true (and the sleepless nights too – they’re a rite of passage!). Xx
    Alice @ The Filling Glass recently posted…Resistance to school…how I’m dealing with it (or not)My Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      October 1, 2015 at 8:23 am (2 years ago)

      Thank you Alice. I’m not always positive, I can assure you…for me it’s a matter of trying to find the positive to help keep me going. Thank you, I hope Hugo gets a little brother or sister soon too xxx

      Reply
    • Leigh
      September 29, 2015 at 12:01 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you lovely xxx

      Reply
  2. Sara | mumturnedmom
    September 28, 2015 at 2:01 pm (2 years ago)

    A beautiful post Leigh, children do give us a glimpse of a magical world, don’t they. You are an amazing mother, and Hugo will be the big brother he deserves to be, I truly hope your wishes come true soon x Thank you so much for sharing with #ThePrompt x
    Sara | mumturnedmom recently posted…The Prompt: Week 85My Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      September 29, 2015 at 12:02 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you so much, Sara xxx

      Reply
  3. mummy tries
    September 26, 2015 at 6:07 am (2 years ago)

    What a beautiful post Leigh, once again I’m astounded at your ability to articulate so well a most painful situation. Sounds like these interactions with your friend’s boy are a breath of fresh air for you my love. The world through the eyes of a toddler is indeed a truly wonderous thing xxx #theprompt
    mummy tries recently posted…A Linky with a Difference Week 2 #DiffLinkyMy Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      September 29, 2015 at 12:03 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks lovely Renee. I love my friend’s little boy almost as much as if he is my own. The world of a toddler is wonderful indeed xxx

      Reply
  4. Katie Haydock
    September 25, 2015 at 9:40 pm (2 years ago)

    And it’s this love and positivity that gets you there! I’m excited for your new chapter and glad you have such lovely friends 🙂 xxxxxxx

    Reply
    • Leigh
      September 29, 2015 at 12:02 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you lovely xxx

      Reply
  5. Katy
    September 25, 2015 at 6:29 am (2 years ago)

    I love Jos comment. You will have your wishes granted somehow, you are far too loving not to be able to shower your love on a little one x
    Katy recently posted…Real Mums – Mummy On My MindMy Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      September 29, 2015 at 12:02 pm (2 years ago)

      That’s really kind Katy thank you. Jo’s comment is wonderful isn’t it? xxx

      Reply
  6. Jo
    September 23, 2015 at 8:15 pm (2 years ago)

    A lovely way of saying things . I feel kind of like we probably had very similar feelings . I never got as far as you guys did with Hugo but I desperately wanted to .. After 2 bouts of IVF , endless appointments , injections, tablets and nasal sprays I gave up the dream of holding my baby . When the time was right we looked at adoption and ended up with 8 month old identical twins who turn 10 tomorrow. My house soon became a home , messy loud and all those things you describe . I Do know how you feel we may have different stories to start but we both have the same ending … Your house will soon become a home albeit noisy messy and loud and Hugo will always be the big brother .. I look forward to hearing all about it

    Reply
    • Leigh
      September 24, 2015 at 7:33 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you for giving me that hope, and for your kind comment xxx

      Reply
    • Leigh
      September 24, 2015 at 7:35 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you xxx

      Reply
  7. Hannah Budding Smiles
    September 23, 2015 at 4:49 pm (2 years ago)

    I’d love nothing more than to see you with your second child wrapped in your loving arms. You’re a wonderful mother, put on this earth to nurture and love and I can’t wait for your wishes to come true xxx
    Hannah Budding Smiles recently posted…Happy Second Anniversary Hubby!My Profile

    Reply
    • Leigh
      September 24, 2015 at 7:37 pm (2 years ago)

      That’s so kind lovely Hannah, thank you xxx

      Reply

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