Friday Favourite – Me!

Today’s Friday Favourites post was supposed to be a light-hearted one about my favourite TV series. I had it all planned out in my head: it shouldn’t have taken long to write. Light-hearted or not, though, my heart just was not in it.

I was in a low mood anyway, and couldn’t summon much enthusiasm.

I procrastinated, tried to make myself write it, reasoning that I had already missed one Friday Favourites post (I wrote about the result of the General Election last week instead) until I realised that, of course, it does not matter. No one is going to be any worse off for not learning what my favourite TV shows. Probably no one cares, or noticed (not fishing here, I’m being realistic about people’s busy lives!).

Such a post – or any blog post, for that matter – cannot be more important than my own emotional well-being.

So, I switched off the laptop and snuggled on the sofa under a blanket (it was chilly this morning) and read my new book on resilience that arrived yesterday.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will know that for many months after Hugo died I would force myself to write, to work on my blog irrespective of how I felt as a form of punishment to myself. Self-care was something I really struggled with back then, but it is something I am now making a conscious effort to invest in, make time for.

Resilience is about understanding life will not always go to plan, and about having inner resources to deal with adversity, and getting on with life in a different way. That does not mean forgetting whatever has affected your life – I shall certainly never, ever forget Hugo – to me, resilience means looking after myself. Looking after myself means putting less energy in to things I cannot change, and investing more energy in to things I can.

More energy helps me cope much better.

Back to the book I was reading – it’s called The Little Book of Resilience, by Matthew Johnstone. It’s excellent, and I can recommend it highly to anyone interested in learning more about it. The text is engaging and down-to-earth. I’m a very visual person, and it is full of humorous illustrations.

IMG_20150515_113731

Reading the book, I had a bit of a lightbulb moment: I should make myself the topic of my Friday Favourite post. Not in a narcissistic or self-centred way; in a self-care way.

I enjoyed giving myself time out to sit and read the book rather than forcing myself to write a post my heart wasn’t in, it would have been rubbish as a result, and that wouldn’t have helped my mood!

In that reflection was a lesson.

So, I made myself my favourite. My reasoning is that you treat someone or something that is your favourite with extra care. It is about time I treated myself with extra care, especially now I have evidence of the benefits that I can remind myself about if I’m tempted to work through the fog again.

As a result, I made a few promises to myself:

– To write only when I’m feeling inspired, in the mood, ‘in the zone’

– To remember that self-care comes first

– To listen to my body more

– To trust my instinct

– To find time every day to practise self-care – even if (gasp!) that means turning off social media for a while so I can’t get distracted

– To be compassionate to myself about my feelings, meaning to practise self-care if I am feeling low rather than ignore them or tell myself off for feeling that way

– To have perspective about my blog (that’s part of the title, after all!)

– To not worry too much what others think, and remember most people are caught up with their own lives to notice what I am or am not doing

– To remember that not everything has to be done ‘now’

– To stay true to myself

There will probably be some other promises I add to the list too. What would be on your list of promises if you made yourself your favourite?

 

____________________________________________________________

Word of the Week – Me

The Reading Residence

The List

Share the Joy linky at bodfortea.co.uk
Beau Twins

36 Comments on Friday Favourite – Me!

  1. hannah mum's days
    May 21, 2015 at 5:10 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh love xxx I’m so glad you are starting to put yourself first and look after yourself. It’s so important to give yourself a break and when you’re tired rest and when you don’t feel like, well, don’t. Lots of love xxx Thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 22, 2015 at 8:34 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you lovely. I have been keeping to my promises, I am happy to report! xxx

      Reply
  2. beautwins
    May 20, 2015 at 8:47 pm (3 years ago)

    I know I have already commented but I just love this post so much. It’s so important to look after our mental wellbeing. I have so many self help books but this I need. Thank you so much for sharing this and for linking to #WellbeingWednesday Some amazing tips we could all learn from. xxxx

    Reply
  3. mummyofboygirltwins
    May 20, 2015 at 7:23 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh yes! This means so much to me too. I often find myself worrying and overthinking too much. Self-care is so important, but hard to practice. This book sounds fab. I hope it is helping you lots. Jess x #WellbeingWednesday

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 22, 2015 at 8:31 am (3 years ago)

      Oh it’s a fabulous book Jess, I highly recommend it to anyone. Ah yes worrying and overthinking are familiar to me too…it’s good to try to turn the brain off sometimes, it’s important to find a way that works for you xxx

      Reply
  4. hayleyfromhome
    May 20, 2015 at 7:21 pm (3 years ago)

    Such a great post Leigh, it’s so important to put ourselves first sometimes. I struggle to write more often than is good for a blogger! I think my mind is naturally more set up to write in the morning but I very rarely get chance and if I don’t feel I have anything particularly to say I don’t tend to write. Love that you just sat and read a book instead and it sounds like that time was helpful to you. A promise I would make to myself would be to put my phone away and give myself a break and reading has been a big goal for me this year as it is a good chance to make time for myself. Lovely post xx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 22, 2015 at 8:30 am (3 years ago)

      Thanks Hayley, it’s right to do what is right for you, however your mind naturally works. There’s no pressure to post if you have nothing in particular to say – quality over quantity every time! Reading more is a good promise to yourself – a chance to make time for yourself, relax, and escape. Thanks for your lovely comment xxx

      Reply
  5. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops
    May 19, 2015 at 7:04 pm (3 years ago)

    This is such a fantastic post, and I think all of your promises are so important. I think with the way things are – living in such a fast paced society there is so much pressure to do everything that we can sometimes lose ourselves. More focus needs to be on finding that ‘me’ time, or not forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do, and generally just taking care of ourselves in terms of mental well being. I think we would all be happier for it.

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 19, 2015 at 7:10 pm (3 years ago)

      You’re so right – in our hectic society it is so important to time out, recharge the physical and emotional batteries. We really would be much happier for it – learning what’s important and what’s not, too xxx

      Reply
  6. Lucy@bottlefor2
    May 18, 2015 at 12:45 pm (3 years ago)

    Those promises are so important and I think we can all learn a lesson or two there! Good for you for recognising you needed the time to focus on yourself. This led to these promises, a great blog post and hopefully a happier you! I think I need them too.

    Reply
  7. Mummy Tries
    May 18, 2015 at 9:15 am (3 years ago)

    What a fabulous post Leigh, I’m so pleased you had that lightbulb moment! You should always put you first my lovely, because if you’re not happy everything else falls to pieces… Staying away from social media during dark moments is also essential. It can make us feel like crap otherwise xxx #sharethejoy

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 19, 2015 at 1:55 pm (3 years ago)

      You’re so right lovely. The most important thing is to know how to recognise it I think, and find things that suit you. Agree with social media, had to stay away from it a couple of weeks ago xxx

      Reply
  8. Merlinda Little ( @pixiedusk)
    May 16, 2015 at 11:32 pm (3 years ago)

    This is a lovely read and there one word that resonates … love yourself more. I am my own worst enemy and maybe I need to start being nice to me. Maybe all this negativity that I am feeling will go away if I only learn to listen to me. #wotw

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 18, 2015 at 8:08 am (3 years ago)

      I think being our own worst enemy is something many of us are familiar with. Take care xx

      Reply
  9. Julia @ rainbeaubelle
    May 16, 2015 at 4:06 pm (3 years ago)

    I think I need to get myself a copy of this book it sounds lovely! I’m glad you snuggled under that blanket, looking after you is very important and hard though it is must be done for well being. Lots of love xx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 18, 2015 at 8:09 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you lovely, it’s a great book, highly recommended. So important to take a bit of time out now and then, and to recognise when it’s needed. Lots of love to you too xxx

      Reply
  10. beautwins
    May 16, 2015 at 1:41 pm (3 years ago)

    I am so pleased to read this and that you are looking after yourself gorgeous lady. I would love for you to link this up next week for my Wellbeing Wednesday linky. This is a perfect example of the mindfulness posts I want to read. Xxx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 18, 2015 at 8:11 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you lovely. I shall try to link up! xxx

      Reply
  11. thereadingresidence
    May 16, 2015 at 7:20 am (3 years ago)

    This is a great post, and I can feel your ‘lightbulb moment’ running through it. Taking time out for you is so important, and that list is a good one. That books looks a powerful and useful read, too. Thanks for sharing with #WotW x

    Reply
  12. Tim
    May 16, 2015 at 12:19 am (3 years ago)

    That’s a good list, Leigh. I’m similar – I often catch myself starting a post half-heartedly because I feel I ought to write something, but I’ve been here often enough to catch myself early and realise that it’s nothing that can’t wait until another day, if ever. And, like you, I’d feel much worse if I posted a mediocre post dashed off because I felt I had to than if I don’t post anything at all. As therapeutic as blogging is, sometimes doing nothing or something completely different is even better. We all need to recharge the batteries every now and then!

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 16, 2015 at 11:31 am (3 years ago)

      So true isn’t it Tim! As much as we enjoy blogging and as much as we get lots out of it, we need to have a balance and recognise when to step away from the keyboard. Thanks for commenting x

      Reply
  13. Mummy Writes
    May 15, 2015 at 11:30 pm (3 years ago)

    I loved reading this post Leigh. Making yourself a priority is so hard but essential. I liked the upbeat and decisive tone in your words. I started as a parenting blog but realised I’m not enthused by writing posts about what I see (now) as trivial things that you see in parenting blogs (outfits, food etc) so I decided to write about what I want to write about. It’s a good place to be I think. You may feel you want to write that TV post another day in any case xxx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 16, 2015 at 11:32 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you. I understand what you mean – I’ve started writing about other things, things that make me, me – but I’ve reflected that I need only write about those things when I feel like it. I am accountable only to myself on my blog. You’re right, writing about what you want to write about is a good place to be xxx

      Reply
  14. Angela Milnes
    May 15, 2015 at 9:29 pm (3 years ago)

    My heart goes out to you for your loss of your child. I enjoyed reading your post. Resilience is something we all need! My trials are somewhat different to yours but I also blog about difficulties and sometimes through writing this down I gain better understanding and clarity about myself.
    Well done Angela xx

    Angela recently posted “10 reasons to visit the Blackpool Tower Eye” http://wp.me/p5XRN6-1q6

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 16, 2015 at 11:35 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you for your kind words, Angela. Resilience is important for us all, whatever is happening to us xx

      Reply
  15. Hannah Budding Smiles
    May 15, 2015 at 9:13 pm (3 years ago)

    I can’t possibly think of a better favourite foe you to have my lovely and those promises are very good ones which I’m going to wrote down for myself too. Hugs and love xxx

    Reply
      • Leigh Kendall
        May 16, 2015 at 11:35 am (3 years ago)

        Shame, I had an entertaining image of you in my head! 😉 xx

        Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 16, 2015 at 11:34 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you, lovely! Hope they’re useful for you too xxx

      Reply
  16. Lucy Bishop
    May 15, 2015 at 9:06 pm (3 years ago)

    i loved this post and I’m so glad you took care of your needs today & wrote this post instead of the one about TV shows (I’d love to read it sometime though!) I think we can all be so quick to be too hard on ourselves and ignore our own needs: I know I am also guilty of writing because I feel I “need” to, or “must”. Usually the reality is that the post isn’t very good & I feel negative about it & even more tired/drained/fed up. Like you, I now try hard to be really selective about what I write, and when. I set myself some New Years resolutions this year & one was to be kind to myself: to engage in the things I love (crafting, reading, baking, shopping etc) to give myself time “off”, time to be “just lucy”, and not to feel guilty for it. My other goals are to read one book per month for the whole year, lose the final 7lb to get me to 10st and a total weight loss of 7st 2lbs, and to drink more water! All of these combined I’m hoping will lead to a healthier, happier and more balanced me in the future! Here’s hoping! Looking forward to Sunday! X

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      May 16, 2015 at 11:34 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you, Lucy. We bloggers love our blogging – but like anything, it’s important to recognise when we need to walk away and take a break. Our blogs are our own corner of the internet, and we can set our own rules – and the beauty is, those rules can evolve along with our own needs.

      Fabulous goals there, you’ve done amazingly with your weightloss! Looking forward to seeing you on Sunday too xxx

      Reply

3Pingbacks & Trackbacks on Friday Favourite – Me!

  1. […] compassionate towards myself for those times when grief or anxiety take over. Making time for self-care so I have more positive energy to help cope with the dark moods. Teaching myself to resist negative […]

  2. […] Each week a chosen post will feature as the best post of the week and for the launch, I was giving away a Lumie Body Block. The entries were superb which made it difficult to chose just one winner. I finally chose a beautifully written piece about resilience and being kind to yourself using self care techniques – it ouzed everything Wellbeing Wednesday stands for. I am therefore delighted to announce that the gorgeous Leigh from Headspace Perspective has won the Lumie Body Clock with her amazing post – here it is incase you missed it FRIDAY FAVOURITE – ME! […]

  3. […] Book of Resilience by Matthew Johnstone – this is the book I read last week that led to my lightbulb moment (I am pleased to report that I am keeping true to the  promises I […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *






CommentLuv badge