“feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one’s own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.”
Well, that’s one of the definitions of ‘proud’. The other relates to having a high opinion of one’s self or vanity, which I’m not too worried about (because I’m not!).
I have mentioned before that I have struggled to describe myself as ‘proud’ of anything I have done since Hugo died. I know I have made achievements to be proud of, but in the context of the death of my beautiful son, using that word just hasn’t felt right.
However, achievements can sometimes be like buses, and several positive things have happened this week (listed in the order they occurred):
Hugo’s Story on the NHS Change Day website: NHS Change Day is a grassroots campaign aimed at empowering staff from all across the NHS to make a positive change. When I was in hospital recovering from HELLP syndrome after Hugo was born, I made an NHS Change Day pledge to raise awareness of the condition I had never heard of that nearly killed me, and made my baby be born far too early. Since Hugo died, I have been working hard through my blog doing just that as part of Hugo’s Legacy. I am sad, but proud, of everything that #HugosLegacy has achieved so far.
Running 5km! I cannot believe I have typed that. A few years ago, back when I was *ahem* two or three stone lighter, I was a regular runner. Running is something I have been trying to get back into, to try and shift some of those pounds. Losing weight – and in general trying to remain physically healthy – is especially important after having pre-eclampsia, because it puts me at a higher risk of cardiovascular disease in later life. My run was done in a time of 31:49 – not bad! I wrote it in my diary, and awarded myself a gold star for my efforts.
Reaching 100,000 hits on my blog I started my blog in April 2013, but about 97,000 or so of the hits have been since April 2014. Stats are not everything, of course, but since the primary purpose of my writing is to raise awareness of issues close to my heart, I was chuffed to have reached this milestone. I am genuinely astonished at the reach of Hugo’s Legacy, and proud that so many people know about my special little boy. Thank you to each and every one of you who has taken the time to read, to comment, or to share.
Becoming a blogger for the Huffington Post I am a regular reader of Huffington Post articles, especially those around premature babies and grief. There are few (that I have read) articles that have talked about baby loss, or anything I have experienced in the past year, so I thought I would get in touch with them. I submitted a draft post and was accepted! I shall be writing about HELLP syndrome, birth trauma, premature babies, baby loss, and living with grief – and here is my first post, published today. It is an exceptional opportunity to further spread the word of Hugo’s Legacy, for which I am very grateful.
I’m not sure whether all these things have given me a ‘feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction’ as per the dictionary definition (yet), but they have helped put a smile on my face, and been a little shaft of light in the darkness. They give me a sense of purpose, and help keep me going.