2015: A blank page

So, 2015 is here.

Just like all the apprehension that preceded Y2K, we’re all still here. There was no Armageddon.

A date is just a number, a way of measuring time in to neat little blocks.

Grief isn’t neat, though. Of course, I woke up this morning missing Hugo as much as I did yesterday.

The change of calendar doesn’t change anything inside me.

I think back to January 1, 2014. I was full of excitement, the calendar was full of lots of dates. My 20 week scan at the end of the month. Considering when my maternity leave would start, sometime around May. My baby’s due date in June. So much to look forward to.

My 2015 diary isn’t completely blank, of course. There are dates, events, appointments to go to, commitments to keep. Things to be done. Whereas 12 months ago I was full of beans, today I feel flat. That’s ok, it is to be expected.

I survived 2014, some of the worst times of my life. I have no real expectations of 2015, besides not to just survive, but to also thrive.

A friend observed that this photo of my calendar is blank, and that I should plan something to treat myself and put that in. I’ve not been very good at that, so it’s a good idea. Something restorative.

I am sure there are many among my readers who are better that this sort of thing than me. Ideas are welcome.

IMG_20150101_123504

Linking up with the Reading Residence with the word ‘blank’

The Reading Residence

22 Comments on 2015: A blank page

  1. The L's Mum
    January 3, 2015 at 1:28 pm (6 years ago)

    I am also doing monthly bucket lists because I found that 2014 was a little isolating and I didn’t like how it made me feel, so now I have set myself a monthly bucket list with things to and each sunday I’m planning my week ahead with things to do. I hope you decide how you want to do things and I wish you all the best for the new year #WotW

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:16 pm (6 years ago)

      A weekly bucket list sounds a good idea, bite size chunks is the way to go I think, and not too intimidating. Thanks so much for the suggestion. I hope this works out for you, and that 2015 is everything you wish it to be xxx

      Reply
  2. mummyshambles
    January 3, 2015 at 8:54 am (6 years ago)

    Definitely agree that we all need some ‘me time’.
    For me, it’s a wander round the charity shops buying whatever takes my fancy. I’m cheap, I know, but it helps others and cheers me up without breaking the bank. Sometimes, I imagine Ma’s with me, linking my arm like she always did. I might look insane smiling away to myself but I don’t care. You have to deal with loss in whatever way is best for you.
    A bucket list is a good idea. It provides focus and the sense of accomplishment must be great.
    I think a lot of us have ‘blank’ days. For me, they are my re-charging days where I do nothing. It’s OK to have blank days, we just have to take care that the days don’t roll into months.
    Much love xXx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:12 pm (6 years ago)

      Blank days sound good. I have trouble doing nothing because of where my mind goes (to dark places), but I definitely need to find a way of recharging. Thanks for commenting, lovely. Lots of love to you xxx

      Reply
  3. Rebecca ClearlyBex Bodkin
    January 2, 2015 at 9:21 pm (6 years ago)

    Couldn’t agree more about a bucket list. I am really sorry for your loss, I made personal ones which I always thought “If I completed half of my list it was a good month” when I lost my daughter. Also a pamper here and there is a lovely idea x

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:10 pm (6 years ago)

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I think you’re right, it’s good to have things to look forward to, but not beat yourself up if you don’t achieve them. Thanks for commenting xxx

      Reply
  4. Youngonesfive
    January 2, 2015 at 7:07 pm (6 years ago)

    You certainly need to make time for you.
    I love the idea of a bucket list too
    Something to focus on and look forward too….

    Sa xXx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:09 pm (6 years ago)

      Definitely, a list of things to look forward to is needed. Thanks for commenting xxx

      Reply
  5. Merlinda (@pixiedusk)
    January 2, 2015 at 7:01 pm (6 years ago)

    I dread new year. It just means I am here for longer where I am without any development, without any change =(

    I wish that you will find something that you can write in your calendar soon. I think its okay if its empty for awhile. So that the day that you will put something in there itll be special and truly as date you will remember. I hope I am making some sense. Happy New Year. #wotw

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:09 pm (6 years ago)

      Thank you, I hope your 2015 brings improvements xxx

      Reply
  6. Stephanie (@LifeAt139a)
    January 2, 2015 at 1:46 pm (6 years ago)

    That’s a beautiful calendar and thrive is a great word – I’m sure you’ll find some equally lovely things to add to your calendar to help you thrive this year xox

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:07 pm (6 years ago)

      Thank you, the pretty colours of the calendar really caught my eye! xxx

      Reply
  7. thereadingresidence
    January 2, 2015 at 1:24 pm (6 years ago)

    To thrive sounds perfect to me, and yes, your friend makes a great point if you’re to do this. Book and plan things in for yourself, so you’ve dates to look forward to scattered throughout the year. I’m liking all the ideas above, and I think time spent with good friends, too. Thank you for sharing with #WotW xx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:07 pm (6 years ago)

      Thank you, Jocelyn. I think some things to look forward to, and some time to myself to recharge will help me thrive, hopefully! xxx

      Reply
  8. Dean B
    January 2, 2015 at 1:02 pm (6 years ago)

    I love blank pages! To me they are exciting 😉 A lot of things can be written in blank pages, all good and not-so-good ones. You’ve survived 2014 and did really well. I have no doubt 2015 will be a good one for you. I wish you more blessings 🙂 #wotw.

    Reply
  9. pottymouthedmummy
    January 2, 2015 at 12:54 pm (6 years ago)

    I know each year some bloggers put up bucket lists for the year, or something similar. Things to do or achieve, places to go etc. Maybe that might help? xx

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:05 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks Sian. A list of places to visit is a lovely idea. Purposeful distraction! xxx

      Reply
  10. MyLifeAsAMummy (@MyLifeAsAMummyx)
    January 2, 2015 at 9:42 am (6 years ago)

    I think what your friend said is spot on. You need at least a day a month just for you. To be pampered, to chill all day in your pj’s, or anything that is purely focused on your happiness!

    Laura x x x

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 3, 2015 at 2:04 pm (6 years ago)

      That sounds good. A day a month just for me…I shall have to think more about that. Thank you Laura! xxx

      Reply
  11. Emma
    January 1, 2015 at 2:14 pm (6 years ago)

    Maybe ask people close to you for their pick of a really good, life-affirming, favourite film… Make a list of what you haven’t seen, and designate the 15th of each month to pausing the world and losing yourself in a good story for a couple of hours. I can’t remember the last time I did that without habitually picking up my phone, or getting distracted somehow. There’s a lot to be said for quality battery-recharging time… I’m trying to rediscover joy in the little things before I push myself forward. One step at a time, right?

    Reply
    • Leigh Kendall
      January 1, 2015 at 3:17 pm (6 years ago)

      That sounds like a lovely idea Emma, thank you. I need a few positive rituals I think, regular battery-recharging time. Joy in the little things. You’re right, one step at a time. Best wishes to you xxx

      Reply

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