When are you getting married?

My partner and I have been together for nearly 14 years (yes, you can get less time for murder!). We’re perfectly happy and aren’t fussed about tying the knot. That’s why it can be frustrating when people ask me the perennial question: “So, when are you getting married?”

These days, it really doesn’t seem necessary to make our relationship ‘legal’. People who get married might like to proclaim their love in front of all their family and friends, but we’re a self-contained, quite private couple and that really doesn’t appeal.

I love a good party and a pretty frock as much as the next girl, but the thought of having my ‘big day’ makes me cold. Studies have shown a wedding with all the trimmings can cost as much as £20,000; a ridiculous figure, especially when we can’t scrape together a deposit to get on the housing ladder.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy weddings. I would prefer to be sitting in the pews, followed by getting merry at the reception without worrying about how much I might be embarrassed by the speeches.

Just don’t say “It will be you next…”. You won’t find me amongst the throng of women anxiously waiting to catch the bride’s bouquet.

Is it an unromantic notion? I don’t think so. My partner and I invest in our relationship and work hard at it. We’re as married as married couples, just without the piece of paper. We live together, pay the bills, do the food shopping, chores and argue over the remote control.

Who’s to say our relationship isn’t as strong, because we haven’t made a public proclamation to each other?


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