Hugo's Legacy

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    Neonatal Parents Have Our Say

    So often talks and forums about pregnancy and birth focus on normality, meaning it was wonderful for we neonatal parents to have a chance to have our say. The National Maternity Review held four sessions for parents who had experienced complications in pregnancy and birth; whose baby had stayed in a neonatal unit; and who […] Read more…

  • Me and Hugo

    My National Live Radio Debut

    Last night featured my live national radio debut, with an interview on BBC Radio 5 Live about my experiences with Hugo. The interview was in relation to MP Antoinette Sandbach talking in Parliament about the night her son Sam died of cot death and calling for better bereavement care for parents. I learned of the piece through the […] Read more…

Baby Loss and Living with Grief

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    Not All Tears Are An Evil

    Chin up! What’s the worst that can happen? Worse things happen at sea! We like to keep a stiff upper lip, don’t we? Let’s not talk about things that might cause a stir, rouse emotion, give cause for a tear to be shed. Not showing emotions, not crying is a sign of strength, they say. […] Read more…

  • AngelaMiller

    Baby Loss Awareness Day: The Last Lullaby

    Today is Baby Loss Awareness Day. It’s a strange feeling – it is a day like any other, yet a day so full of poignancy. I talk openly and candidly about baby loss and about my Hugo every day of the year, of course. We broken-hearted mummies and daddies miss our babies – whether they […] Read more…


  • The programme.

    Blogging and Self-Esteem at BlogFest

    Blogging and self-esteem needn’t be a fairy tale… Once upon a time there was a girl who loved books, reading, creativity. She loved to write, but would never ever dream of sharing it with anyone. She was very quiet and shy, and her teachers worried about her being in the big bad world because she […] Read more…

  • I am not

    Intoxicated By Possibility

    Possibility. What does that word mean to you? To me, it means promise, positive prospects, opportunities. But not too many years ago it had more of a negative connotation for me – having to make decisions, stick my head over the parapet, take a risk. It has taken significant life events including Hugo’s death to […] Read more…

Health Communication

  • L-R: Chezelle; Zoe (Ads the Poet's wonderful mum; Jo; Kath, me.

    The New Educators

    At the end of October I travelled to central London to give a talk at a Royal Society of Medicine event about Hugo’s Legacy. The conference – Patients and Families as the New Educators – was organised in collaboration with the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health. In attendance were a variety of health […] Read more…

  • Normal is an illusion.

    What Is ‘Normal’, Anyway?

    What is normal? It’s a question I’ve thought a lot about. Last year I wrote about how growing up I sought to be different, thinking ‘normal’ was boring because it means conforming. After Hugo’s death, however, I would give anything to be a ‘normal’ mum – using the term ‘normal’ loosely, to mean having a […] Read more…

Maternity Experience (#MatExp)

  • rightandwrong

    Have Your Say In The National Maternity Review Online Consultation

    The NHS Maternity Review is currently underway to make recommendations for the improvement of services for women and their families. They are very keen to hear from everyone with an interest in making sure women have the best, safest-possible experience of maternity services. The review has been holding national listening events, and wants to make sure […] Read more…

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    Why We Can’t Call Birth ‘Normal’

    We’ve had some really insightful discussions about ‘normal’ birth recently. What’s the right word for it? It’s a complex debate! My #MatExp colleague Helen articulated the debate in this brilliant, insightful post yesterday. To sum up the extensive discussions, the post proposed calling birth just that…birth. I thought I’d take a visual approach to explain […] Read more…


  • The gifts, and service programme.

    Loved and Lost Babies Remembered

    Much-loved babies were remembered at a special memorial service at St George’s Hospital on Sunday. The annual service is organised by the neonatal unit with the chaplaincy and funded by the unit’s charity, First Touch. I ventured down to London and the Northern Line (a three hour round trip) in honour of my Hugo. St […] Read more…

  • Untitled design (4)

    Neonatal Parents Have Our Say

    So often talks and forums about pregnancy and birth focus on normality, meaning it was wonderful for we neonatal parents to have a chance to have our say. The National Maternity Review held four sessions for parents who had experienced complications in pregnancy and birth; whose baby had stayed in a neonatal unit; and who […] Read more…

Postnatal Mental Health

  • postnatal ptsd

    Signs of Perinatal and Postnatal PTSD – and Why Support is Crucial

    We need to talk about perinatal and postnatal PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder as a result of a traumatic birth experience). We need to talk about the signs. We need to talk about how to get support for those who need it. We need to talk about perinatal and postnatal PTSD because it is real, its impact […] Read more…

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    Proud to be a member of the #PNDFamily

    I am a proud member of the #PNDFamily. I’d like to tell you how the family has helped me, and what it means to me. The PND Family is the brainchild of wonderful blogger Rosey who created #PNDHour, which takes place on Twitter every Wednesday evening between 8pm and 9pm to: Provide a safe space to discuss […] Read more…


  • A Sunny October Day

    A Sunny October Day

    We’ve been incredibly fortunate with the weather during the past couple of weeks. A beautiful Indian Summer, and it was good to be able to take advantage of a sunny October day. The day started badly, and involved lots of tears. My nail appointment perked me up a bit, thanks to lots of hugs and […] Read more…

  • Hearts and camera print washi on 'treasure the memories'.

    My Wall of Love, Memories, Creativity and Inspiration

    On a bit of a whim, I created my wall of love, memories, creativity, and inspiration yesterday. I guess the best creative projects are done on such a whim: the creation comes directly from the heart, no overthinking. It just flows. I had a selection of photos of Hugo remaining from ones we had got […] Read more…

Life After

  • itsnotfairellieCFCcard

    Guest Post: Inspired Goodbyes

    Talking about death, and how to talk to people who have been bereaved has been a point of interest for me since Hugo died. So many people just don’t know what to say or how to say it. It’s not their fault, and mostly people don’t intend to be rude or insensitive. It’s the way […] Read more…

  • Oliver and Alfie ©Remember My Baby 2014-15

    One Amazing Year of Life-Changing Work: Remember My Baby’s First Anniversary

    Today’s Life After…story is especially poignant. I wrote last year of how not having a photo of Hugo’s beautiful face (without his medical paraphernalia) was my one regret of his too-short life. At the time, I had no idea about baby bereavement photography, or that organisations staffed by wonderful volunteers provide such a service to […] Read more…


  • Friday Favourites

    Friday Favourites: Autumn Style

    Autumn is here! It can be a funny month in terms of knowing what is best to wear because while the mornings and evenings can be really chilly we can enjoy glorious, warm sunshine during the day – just like we have been fortunate enough to have during this week. During these transitional seasons it’s […] Read more…

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    Friday Favourites: Summer Holiday Style

    I don’t know about you, but when I go on holiday I think the outfits I choose to pack have to earn their place in my suitcase. My clothes have to be easy to pack (I really can’t be doing with ironing at the best of times, least of all on holiday); be suitable for […] Read more…

Just For Fun

  • Giveaway!

    Giveaway: This Book Will Make You Calm

    As a thank you to my readers, I thought I’d do my first-ever giveaway: a copy of This Book Will Make You Calm by Dr Jessamy Hibberd and Jo Usmar. Sadly, it is not a magic book. It is not an amulet and will not in itself make you calm – but wouldn’t it be […] Read more…

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    How I Got My New Profile Photos

    The downside of having an other half who is a photographer is having to be endlessly patient on days out waiting for him to get a good shot. The upside, however, is that you can get amazing headshots for your blog! My partner Martin is a professional photographer. While he usually focuses on pets (dogs […] Read more…


  • Just out of the box.

    Review: Blossoming Gifts

    Flowers really are one of my greatest pleasures in life, so I jumped at the opportunity when the lovely people at Blossoming Gifts Flower Delivery got in touch to offer a bouquet for me to review. The bouquet I chose from their Autumn Flowers range was the Autumn Haze range, priced at £29.99 and with […] Read more…

  • Close-up of the bouquet, still in its wrapping.

    Review: Appleyard Flowers

    If you follow me on social media you’ll know I LOVE flowers – I’m a little obsessed with taking and posting photos of blooms I’ve found on my travels. They brighten my day – and my followers say they’ve brightened theirs, too. The love of flowers has continued to Hugo’s garden, too. I’m proud of […] Read more…