• My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to

Latest Posts

  • fresh-direction

    A Fresh Direction

    You may or may not have noticed that my posts here have become less and less frequent. I am so proud of what I have achieved, and continue to achieve through this blog and through Hugo’s Legacy. For all that, though, I have to be honest with myself and admit that campaigning and activism is […] Read more…

  • be-a

    Be A Stormtrooper

    Create change! Make a difference! Be a radical! Be a stormtrooper! Yes, you read that correctly. No, not a Jedi. A stormtrooper. Yes, that feels counterintuitive, but hear me out: if you have seen Star Wars The Force Awakens, you will remember Finn. We are introduced to Finn as FN-2187, but during a massacre on […] Read more…

  • reflections

    Reflections on Baby Loss Awareness Week

    Today marks the final day of the 2016 Baby Loss Awareness Week. It has been an emotionally gruelling, yet very positive week. The pinnacle of the week for me was the invitation to reception of the the All Party Parliamentary Group on Baby Loss, as the guest of Bliss Chief Executive Caroline Davey. The Group’s […] Read more…

  • why

    Why Baby Loss Awareness Week Matters

    Today marks the start of the 2016 baby loss awareness week. With awareness events for pretty much everything these days, it is easy to get a bit of ‘awareness fatigue’, and you might wonder why it is needed. This video that I posted on Facebook Live this morning explains why baby loss awareness week is […] Read more…

Hugo's Legacy

  • stories-that

    Stories That Dismay As Well As Inspire

    At yesterday’s Women’s Voices conference among the many interesting speakers there was one phrase in particular that stood out. Stories that dismay as well as inspire. This quote is by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, from her book with a title that will no doubt be familiar: Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History. During the Q&A I […] Read more…

  • nobodys-patient-workshop

    Nobody’s Patient Workshop: St George’s Hospital

    Friday September 23 was a special day, one I have been waiting on for a long time: the Nobody’s Patient workshop at St George’s Hospital. The workshop is a key part of the Nobody’s Patient project and received funding from the Maternity Review Challenge Fund . The project evolved from the grassroots social media change […] Read more…

Maternity Experience (#MatExp)

  • when-i-thought-my

    When I Thought My Missed Miscarriage Would Never End

    Once upon a time, I thought that miscarriages occurred quickly. A hand clutched to the tummy as pain hit. A gush of blood. Hopes and dreams swept away. Left to pick up the pieces emotionally, thinking of what could – should – have been. Physically, the miscarriage would be over as quickly as it started. […] Read more…

  • My Missed Miscarriage

    My Missed Miscarriage

    Another baby who does not get to develop, grow, thrive, live. Another pregnancy ending in surgery. ____________________ At the end of June I was delighted to discover I was pregnant! This baby was so wanted, so tried for, and conceived naturally. We were over the moon. It didn’t take long for the nausea to kick […] Read more…

Perinatal Mental Health

  • emdr-therapy

    EMDR Therapy, Survived

    The cupboard door was opened. All of the contents, stuffed in the cupboard haphazardly and the door forced shut, tumbled on top of me. I felt suffocated, paralysed. But I emerged. I survived EMDR therapy. I survived EMDR therapy when at one point I thought it was making my symptoms worse, and that it was […] Read more…

  • loading...

    What EMDR Therapy Feels Like

    After my serious illness and the death of Hugo I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD happens as the result of trauma. Part of PTSD means that parts of the brain that deal with threats, memory, and decision-making (as well as the links between them) are damaged, meaning it is difficult to distinguish […] Read more…

Living with Grief

  • Please don't call me

    Please Don’t Call Me Brave

    Please don’t call me brave. I appreciate the gesture, I really do. I think you are really kind to observe what I do, and to express admiration. It’s not false modesty, not bashfulness. There are no blushes. But being called brave does make me feel uncomfortable, and it isn’t all to do with being in […] Read more…

  • How A Song Showed Me

    How A Song Showed Me A Corner Has Been Turned

    Music provides the soundtrack to our lives. It evokes emotions, memories, reminiscences – both good and bad. Martin and I wanted Hugo’s funeral to be a celebration of his life. Part of that celebration included selecting songs to play during the service. Songs that we loved, that held a special significance for us. We were […] Read more…


  • Two Years of Hugo's Legacy

    Two Years of Hugo’s Legacy

    Today marks two years of Hugo’s Legacy. I was reminded of this by a Facebook memory this morning, which prompted me to think about everything that has happened since I hit ‘publish’ on that first post. In April 2014 I was in that stage of raw, visceral early grief. I was confused, angry, frightened. Full […] Read more…

  • Don't StopContinue(1)

    Don’t Stop, Continue: Bereaved Parents’ Voices Matter

    Every so often I get a song lyric going round and round in my head, burrowing in my brain. The most recent one is Don’t stop, continue It’s from Give It Away, one of my favourite songs by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Events this week have intensified my passion for making sure the voices of […] Read more…


  • i-completed-the-2016

    I Completed The 2016 FitBrit Challenge

    A few months ago if you had told me I would have participated – voluntarily – in an challenge that involved multiple exercises back-to-back, I would have laughed. But last Saturday that is exactly what I found myself doing when I took part in the Fitness First FitBrit challenge. I’ve talked before about my life-long […] Read more…

  • 22pressups

    What I Learned From The 22 Day Press Ups Challenge

    I recently completed the 22 press ups for 22 days challenge – you’ve probably seen the challenge doing the rounds on Facebook. The concept behind the challenge is to raise awareness of post-traumatic stress disorder amongst combat veterans – tragically in the US 22 veterans take their lives every day. PTSD doesn’t only affect people […] Read more…


  • introducing-a-new

    Introducing a New Wellbeing Series Via Facebook Live

    I’d like to introduce a new series on my blog about wellbeing. My wellbeing posts always receive a positive response, and readers say they learn from them. I enjoy writing those posts, and will continue to do so. I’m doing videos because they are an effective method of conveying a message through visual cues such […] Read more…

  • gratitude journal

    Why I Keep A Gratitude Journal

    Why do I keep a gratitude journal? Well, in its simplest terms the purpose is to keep a record of things I am grateful for. What’s the point, you may ask? That’s a good question. The idea of a gratitude log might seem cheesy, and as though I am expecting every day to be full […] Read more…


  • everyday

    Everyday Jewellery Stars

    I wear a modest amount of jewellery most days – earrings, watch, a couple of rings, necklace, a couple of bracelets. Most of the items I wear daily have a special significance for me. For example, a pair of earrings I wear every day are in the shape of a star; one of the rings […] Read more…

  • How to be Stylish During a British Summer

    How to be Stylish During a British Summer

    How do you be stylish during a British summer? It should be simple: flowing dresses, shorts, camisole tops, sandals. A floppy hat, and lots of suncream. But simple a British summer is not. Weather during a British summer is unreliable, with not as many warm, balmy, sunny days as we would like. You have to […] Read more…

Just For Fun

  • on-learning-to-not-be-a

    On Learning To Not Be A Book Snob

    I am a book snob. But I am trying to not be. I love books, always have done, since I was a little girl. And I haven’t always been a book snob: growing up, I wasn’t too fussy about what I read. Enid Blyton books were a firm favourite, and I devoured the Famous Five […] Read more…

  • 40 thoughts for my

    40 Thoughts for My 40th Year

    Tomorrow is my birthday, and I shall be 39. The last year of my 30s! I know, I can’t believe it either… The thought of being 40 next year is nowhere near as scary as when I was 29, and looking ahead to my 30s. Age doesn’t really matter that much, and the events of the […] Read more…