Hugo's Legacy

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    What Happened At The MAD Blog Awards 2015

    The 2015 MAD Blog Awards took place last Friday. Wow, what an incredible night – where to start? There were tens of thousands of nominations and votes submitted…and I was hugely honoured to be a finalist in two categories, Best Writer and Outstanding Contribution. My day started with a trip to the hairdressers’ for a root […] Read more…

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    Preparing for the MAD Blog Awards

    It’s the MAD Blog Awards on Friday. It’s exciting but overwhelming too, so I’ve been preparing myself mentally as well as with practical things. I am bowled over to be a finalist in not just one but two categories: Best Writer, and Outstanding Contribution. The Outstanding Contribution finalists were revealed only two weeks ago; we […] Read more…

Baby Loss and Living with Grief

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    Thoughts About Acceptance

    Acceptance is something I have thought about a great deal since Hugo died. It’s a concept I have only recently stopped raging against. Acceptance is often identified as the ‘final stage’ of grief in the well-intentioned Kubler Ross model. I thought ‘acceptance’ meant acknowledging that what happened to me, to Hugo, to my family was ok. […] Read more…

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    #SayTheirName and EastEnders: Helping Break the Taboo of Babyloss

    During the past couple of days Twitter has been lit up with photos of beautiful babies, shared by their proud parents. Sadly, these babies will not get to grow up. Their parents wanted the world to know their babies existed, that they are loved, and for others to say their name. EastEnders character Shabnam gave birth […] Read more…


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    You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup

    You can’t pour from an empty cup. Pretty obvious, right? In this context it’s a metaphor for making sure we take care of ourselves. Prioritising self-care, perceiving it as a necessity rather than as an indulgence. That’s because self-care is about self-preservation, not selfishness. We’re so often brought up to believe otherwise – putting others’ needs […] Read more…

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    October Is Here, and It’s Going To Be Busy!

    October is here – and there isn’t going to be any mellow fruitfulness for me this autumn. It’s going to be a busy month (mainly for positive reasons!). October is Baby Loss Awareness Month, and as part of Hugo’s Legacy I will be raising awareness of the need for better support for bereaved parents and letting […] Read more…

Health Communication

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    My #MatExp Action – Bereavement Support for Parents

    STOP PRESS! If you are on Twitter, please join #PNDHour on Wednesday June 3 between 8pm and 9pm. I will be co-hosting a chat about baby loss support. All welcome. Hugo’s Legacy focuses on improving information and communication, especially for parents who have lost a baby. #MatExp is a powerful grassroots campaign that aims to identify and share […] Read more…

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    Language Matters: Health Communication and Baby Loss

    Being in a healthcare environment – whether that be a GP’s surgery or a hospital – can be a hugely disempowering experience. You are likely to feel especially disempowered when you receive bad news – your head spinning, struggling to take in usually complex information. Then, more than ever healthcare professionals of all disciplines need to […] Read more…

Maternity Experience (#MatExp)

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    Have Your Say In The National Maternity Review Online Consultation

    The NHS Maternity Review is currently underway to make recommendations for the improvement of services for women and their families. They are very keen to hear from everyone with an interest in making sure women have the best, safest-possible experience of maternity services. The review has been holding national listening events, and wants to make sure […] Read more…

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    Why We Can’t Call Birth ‘Normal’

    We’ve had some really insightful discussions about ‘normal’ birth recently. What’s the right word for it? It’s a complex debate! My #MatExp colleague Helen articulated the debate in this brilliant, insightful post yesterday. To sum up the extensive discussions, the post proposed calling birth just that…birth. I thought I’d take a visual approach to explain […] Read more…


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    What a Week: Time to Refocus

    What a week! There are many lovely and exciting things to tell you about, dear readers. But first, a moment of reflection. I’ve been distracted from my blog (I’ve really missed it!) and from my usual self-care techniques by some upsets with people about whom I care deeply. The upsets were on social media – as […] Read more…

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    Communication Matters: Results of the 2014 Neonatal Survey

    Imagine seeing your new baby in an incubator, covered in tubes and perhaps ventilated to help them breathe. Imagine seeing your new baby in pain and there being little you can do to make it better. Imagine being surrounded by unfamiliar machines that beep relentlessly, unfamiliar words, terrifying news, feeling constant bewilderment. Imagine not being able […] Read more…

Postnatal Mental Health

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    Signs of Perinatal and Postnatal PTSD – and Why Support is Crucial

    We need to talk about perinatal and postnatal PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder as a result of a traumatic birth experience). We need to talk about the signs. We need to talk about how to get support for those who need it. We need to talk about perinatal and postnatal PTSD because it is real, its impact […] Read more…

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    Proud to be a member of the #PNDFamily

    I am a proud member of the #PNDFamily. I’d like to tell you how the family has helped me, and what it means to me. The PND Family is the brainchild of wonderful blogger Rosey who created #PNDHour, which takes place on Twitter every Wednesday evening between 8pm and 9pm to: Provide a safe space to discuss […] Read more…


  • A Sunny October Day

    A Sunny October Day

    We’ve been incredibly fortunate with the weather during the past couple of weeks. A beautiful Indian Summer, and it was good to be able to take advantage of a sunny October day. The day started badly, and involved lots of tears. My nail appointment perked me up a bit, thanks to lots of hugs and […] Read more…

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    My Wall of Love, Memories, Creativity and Inspiration

    On a bit of a whim, I created my wall of love, memories, creativity, and inspiration yesterday. I guess the best creative projects are done on such a whim: the creation comes directly from the heart, no overthinking. It just flows. I had a selection of photos of Hugo remaining from ones we had got […] Read more…

Life After

  • Oliver and Alfie ©Remember My Baby 2014-15

    One Amazing Year of Life-Changing Work: Remember My Baby’s First Anniversary

    Today’s Life After…story is especially poignant. I wrote last year of how not having a photo of Hugo’s beautiful face (without his medical paraphernalia) was my one regret of his too-short life. At the time, I had no idea about baby bereavement photography, or that organisations staffed by wonderful volunteers provide such a service to […] Read more…

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    Life After…Birth Trauma

    Many of you will know the background to my and Hugo’s story. Hugo was born by emergency Caesarean section on February 20, 2014. The circumstances of his birth were hugely traumatic because it was literally a life-and-death situation. The legacy of the trauma of Hugo’s birth has affected me ever since. Flashbacks, a feeling of disconnection, […] Read more…


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    Friday Favourites: Summer Holiday Style

    I don’t know about you, but when I go on holiday I think the outfits I choose to pack have to earn their place in my suitcase. My clothes have to be easy to pack (I really can’t be doing with ironing at the best of times, least of all on holiday); be suitable for […] Read more…

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    Clothes As Armour: My Return-to-Work Outfit

    With my anxiety about a return to work after a 15 month absence I was delighted when my favourite shop, White Stuff, offered to send me an outfit to help manage the nerves. This was important to me because many years of low body confidence means I treat outfits as a form of armour. Feeling […] Read more…

Just For Fun

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    How I Got My New Profile Photos

    The downside of having an other half who is a photographer is having to be endlessly patient on days out waiting for him to get a good shot. The upside, however, is that you can get amazing headshots for your blog! My partner Martin is a professional photographer. While he usually focuses on pets (dogs […] Read more…

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    Friday Favourites: Fragrances

    Friday Favourites is back! I’m having a self-care day today (I’ve had my nails done, and tea, cake, and chat with friends) so to continue the girly treat theme, I thought I’d share with you my favourite fragrances. Plus, I like a bit of alliteration… I’ve always loved perfume; I can remember stealing a spritz […] Read more…


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    Review: Appleyard Flowers

    If you follow me on social media you’ll know I LOVE flowers – I’m a little obsessed with taking and posting photos of blooms I’ve found on my travels. They brighten my day – and my followers say they’ve brightened theirs, too. The love of flowers has continued to Hugo’s garden, too. I’m proud of […] Read more…

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    Review – Phoenix Yard Colouring-In Books for Adults

    Colouring books for adults have been an invaluable resource in helping my mind recover since Hugo died, so I was delighted when Phoenix Yard Books invited me to review two from their range. Both books are full of a wide range of different patterns to colour in, from fun bold designs that are easy to get […] Read more…